Sham: We have to stop this wedding it is just wrong.

Momobee: How are we going to stop it?

Timber: Forget about the stupid wedding. We need a plan. I have to tackle my man. We need a distraction.

Momobee: I am going to tackle JC remember?

Sham: You guys are awful…do you think Nick noticed me?

Timber: You got to distract them.

Sham: How?

Timber: I think you should run from the church yelling “I need to pee.”

Momobee: You are so smart Timber. That will really work.

Timber: Thanks I know.

Sham: Umm…no way in hell am I doing that.

Timber: Sure you will.

Sham: No!!!! Timber you are on drugs.

Timber: I am not!!!

Momobee: Come on Sham be a friend.

Sham: No!!!!

Timber: If you were a true fan you would.

Sham: Bite me!

Momobee: Lance better stop staring at my man's ass.

Timber: I bet Justin is hurt. He has the best ass, but JC gets all of girlie man’s attention.

Momobee: He does not have the best ass, he does not even have one. He weighs like ten pounds.

Timber: My Justin does have an ass!!!!!!!!!!!!

So as Timber and MomoBee kept fighting about who had a nicer ass, the procession was ready to start.

Sham: "You two quit fighting, it's time for Babykaos to walk down the aisle"

Everyone let out a gasp when they saw Babykaos and the person who was walking her down the aisle

Timber: "Oh my gosh, I can't believe it. I didn't think those two got along."

Sham and MomoBee: "Me either!"

So when Babykaos reached the alter, the minister asked, "Who gives this woman in marrage?"

"I do", said Willa.

Timber: Her hair is ruined look at it. One to many dye jobs.

Sham: OMG!!!!!!!

Momobee: Sham, I know her hair is nasty but I mean if she cut the dead ends and used a little conditioner…

Sham: No look!!! Nick just walked in.

The girls all turn and stare at Nick Carter as he makes his way to the front.

Timber: Well it looks like he has been working out, about time.

Momobee: Shut up your man has pubic hair growing out of his head.

Timber: Oh, you did not just say that!!!

Sham: Stop it you two…look.

Nick storms up to Willa and grabs her arm and jerks her around. Suddenly her hair, which was a wig, goes flying and hits Lance in the face. He lets out little girlie screams.

Lance: Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it off me!

Timber: I knew her hair could not be real. Can I hit Lance?

Momobee: Yes

Sham and Babykaos: NO!

Timber: Why not, he screamed like a girl??

Nick: What are you doing here Willa?

Timber: Forget hitting Lance, this is getting good!

Babykaos, MomoBee and Sham: SHH!!!!

Willa: Why do you care what I do, you're the one who threw me out for OUR house!!

Nick: Our house, no honey it's my house, not your!!

Timber: Go Nick, Go Nick err..sorry, keep going.

Babykaos: What are YOU doing here Nick?? I don't remember inviting to my wedding!

Nick: You seem to be forgetting alot lately.

Babykaos and Lance: What's that supposed to mean??!!

Timber: He means you forgot that you love him and not girlie man.

Babykaos: Shut up you freak!

Nick: Ummm. I was going to say she forgot that she was a Backstreet fan. And no real Backstreet fan would marry girlie man…umm I mean Lance.

Justin: Girlie man. (Starts laughing)

Lance breaks down in tears and starts crying. JC moves closer to him and starts patting him on the back.

JC: It is OK Lance people say I am feminine also. (He says as he glares at Timber.)

Timber: Well excuse me if my Grandma has better taste in clothes than you have.

JC: I looked damn hot in those Granny sweaters!

Babykaos: Excuse me but I was getting married. Nick you need to leave.

Momobee: Yeah, because she loves you. It would break her heart to marry girlie man…Oops I mean Lance with you here.

Babykaos: I think you have been around timber a little too much momobee.

Sham: Umm…Nick if you need to go somewhere. Umm I will be happy to take you. (Starts giggling)

Timber: She would really love to take you.

Willa: Shut up he is my man!

Sham: No he dumped your ugly butt.

Willa: He will always love me. He is my meal ticket. I mean stupid blonde boy only good for sex and money.

Overcome with anger Sham tackles Willa and starts beating the @#%$ out of her.

Timber: This is it! This is our distraction. (She says while grabbing momobee and preventing her from helping Sham.)

Momobee and Timber grab Babykaos and drag her off to the side.

Momobee: Look, we need to talk. You cannot marry Lance. You absolutely can't.

Babykaos: This is my wedding day. I don't want you ruining it.

Momobee: But but but just hear me out. Timber, help me explain this to her. Timber.. Timber?

Timber (staring at Justin): You know they say weddings bring people closer together.

She edges closer to him and puts her hand on his arm.

Justin: Watch it girl. You gonna ruin ma new I love Britney tattoo. Go Sham!! Beat Willa down. Willa's going down.. down down down!!

Timber meanwhile pretends not to hear Justin's comment.

Momobee: Timber!! Forget Justin. Get over here now!!

Babykaos: Look. I am marrying Lance. You can't stop me. He is my heart and my soul. If you two will excuse me, I have a wedding to get back to.

Timber: She's acting stubborn. Girly man can't love her the way Nick can.

Babykaos: Sham! You better stop this fighting now. This is my wedding day!!

Sham: I'll be done in a minute. Let me just finish her off with a couple more punches.

Willa (screaming): You broke my nail! You bi*!@!

Nick: I have here the papers that say the house was mine. If you would just take a look.

Justin: Shut up foo!!

Nick: Excuse me?

Justin: You heard me! You want a piece of me?

Nick: No. I would rather have a piece of that scrumptous girlfriend of yours.

Timber (whispers to Momobee): He's talking about me.

Nick approaches Justin.

Minister: I don't mean to be rude but I have another wedding to attend in about 3 hours. Can we please act like mature adults?

Momobee and Timber pull Sham off Willa.

Momobee: Girl, you better stop. We won't get our free shrimp cocktail if we get kicked out of here. We need your help to talk to Babykaos.

Minister: May I continue?

Lance (wiping away his tears): Yes. Please.

Minister: If there's anyone here who feels that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Timber: Now's our chance, Momo. Ready??

Momobee: Yes.

Momobee stands up to talk but is interrupted by another voice.

JC: I have something to say.

Minister: Yes?

JC: Babykaos cannot marry Lance.

Babykaos: Excuse me? Why not?!?!

JC: Because Lance is in love with me and that's all I have to say about that.

Timber: I knew it. I knew it all along. Girly man was up to no good. I knew it.

Babykaos and MomoBee: WHAT??!!

JC: I love Lance and Lance loves me, isn't that right Lance?

Lance: Umm, no, how many times do I have to tell you, I was drunk that night and didn't mean it like THAT!!

Babykaos: Excuse me, what did you just say Lance?

Lance: Well one night I had a few too many Mike's Hard Lemonades and told JC I loved him, but I didn't mean it baby, can you forgive me?

Meanwhile...

Timber: Oh my god, can you believe what is happening? Now is my chance to get Justin!!

MomoBee: *crying* Why JC, he's too hot to be gay!!

Timber: Aww, I'd love to stay and help you figure it out but I gotta go get my man!!

Justin: Yo Britney, what do you think of the tattoo?

Britney: Aww, baby, I love it!! *She goes to hug Justin.*

Timber: Get your skanky hands off my man!!

Britney: What, no no he loves me, not you!!

Timber: Whatever...

Justin: Ladies, no need to fight, there is enough of me to go around!!

Timber: No you did not put that idiot’s name on your beautiful body. What happened to hiding tattoo’s on your feet? Your body is much to beautiful to play connect the dots on it. (Timber said as she knocked Britney out of the way and grabbed Justin’s arm to examine the tattoo.”

Britney: I am not an idiot!!!

Timber: It doesn’t say Britney it says…MOM.

Justin: Shhh…she can’t read.

Britney: So we are both going to date you now?

Timber: Well since you are a virgin. You can go out on dates with him. I just want sex.

Britney: OK deal. (Britney says with a big goofy grin on her face.)

Timber is about drag Justin away, when a loud scream distracts her. Babykaos has picked Lance up and tossed him in the wedding cake.

Momobee: I didn’t know she was that strong.

Sham: He is a tiny man.

JC: Size doesn’t matter. It matters what is in your heart. How do you know he is tiny? Sham: Umm…just a guess.

Momobee: How can he be gay. Have you ever seen JC Jr? It is a waste. A terrible waste I tell you. (Momobee says crying on Shams shoulder.)

Justin: JC I am pissed with you. I can not believe you had to admit all this crap. Now we are ruined. I am never going to let you peek at my naked body again. From now on you only get to peek at Chris.

JC: OMG!!! What have I done???????

Nick: Brian and Kevin may be married but at least they are not gay. We are going to be the most popular again. We rule. I think you should change your name to FagNsync Justin: What?

Nick: Has a nice ring to it.

Justin: Oh, I would not be talking stupid.

Nick: Who did you call stupid?

Justin: That would be you.

Nick: I am going kick your ass.

Timber: You touch him buddy and you will be hitting high notes you haven’t seen since Brian was taller than you and Kevin had class.

Timber, Nick, and Justin turn quickly when they hear the unmistakable notes of “I Need You Tonight” being played on the piano. Babykoas who has drunk a little too much has decided to sing a song.

Sham: Momobee, this is all your fault.

Momobee: I just thought she should have a drink. She was really stressing.

Sham: A drink!!! She had ten bottles of champagne!!!

Momobee: Well she isn’t trying kill Lance anymore.

As babykaos climbs on top of the piano she looks at the crowd and finds Nick and says in a purring voice “I want dedicate this to you my Nicky honey baby” then she begins to sing.