as they all piled into the limo after the show nick glanced at emma. she was the only one not chatting away about the after party and how excited she was that they had one. she was sitting, head down with her hands in her lap.

he leaned over and whispered to her, "are you mad at me?"

"why would i be mad at you?"

"cause of what i said up on the stage...."

she managed to plaster a fake smile on her face, "like i said, why would i be mad at you? its your award. shes the love of your life, its not a big deal."

he frowned slightly at her last words, "...okay..."

she leaned forward and knocked on the window separating them from the driver. he lowered the window.

"yes ma'am?"

"can you take me back to the hotel please. i dont feel very well."

"yes ma'am," he said and raised the window back up.

amanda glanced at her,"are you okay?"

she managed to smile and nod,"yeah i just dont feel very well."

"do you want me to stay with you?" nick asked.

emma shook her head.

leighanne, kristin, and amanda all glanced at each other,"we'll stay with her."

"you guys, its okay. ill be alright alone."

leighanne shook her head,"its the guys night anyways, wouldnt want to cramp their style."

brian pouted,"you dont cramp my style."

the limo pulled up to the hotel,"if you guys are sure you dont mind..."

"positive," kristin said. she leaned over to kiss kevin before getting out of the limo.

"brian let go of my hand sweetie," leighanne said.

"nuh uh."

she pouted,"please...."

he knew he couldnt say no to that face and let go of her hand. she smiled, kissed him on the cheek, and got out of the limo.

emma started to get out when nick gently grabbed her wrist,"emma...do you want me to stay with you?"

she shook her head,"no, its okay. go have fun." she gently kissed him on the cheek and whispered to him,"i need to talk to you later."

he sighed and nodded before letting go of her wrist.

the girls all headed inside and up to their rooms.

"were gonna change and then we'll meet you in your room k?" kristin said.

"you guys dont ha--"

"no but we want to so shh," leighanne said.

she sighed and nodded. she went up to her and nicks room, changed out of her dress into some more comfortable clothes, and sat on the bed to wait for the other girls.

brian glanced at nick,"hey frack, whats wrong?" he said over the noise of the party.

"im worried about emma," he said staring down into his drink.

brian could barely hear him so he took him by the arm and lead him to a more quiet section of the party.

"why? shes probably just tired."

"its not that...its just...she told me she wasnt mad at me for dedicating the award to emily because shes the love of my life."

"okay..." brian said waiting for him to continue.

nick sighed and looked away,"i think she thinks i dont love her. i mean...yeah i loved emily, i will ALWAYS love emily but now i love emma and i cant imagine my life without her."

"have you told her that? i mean that you love her?"

he sighed and shook his head.

brian stared at him like he lost his mind before yelling,"why havent you told her that?!"

nick jumped, spilling some of his drink on his pants,"dont yell at me!"

"sorry but nick, what are you waiting for?!"

"i dunno. i guess im scared. i told emily i loved her and look what happened to her. i dont want to lose emma like i lost emily."

"...so thats what the scar down my chest is from," emma finished. she had just spent the past hour telling kristin and leighanne pretty much her whole life story and about her heart surgery.

leighanne, who had started to cry halfway through the story, got up and hugged her,"well im glad your alright."

"me too," kristin said wiping her own eyes.

emma managed to smile,"thanks you guys."

amanda glanced at the clock,"guys its getting late and we gotta be up early tomorrow so i think we should go to bed...."

kristin nodded,"yeah, im ready to drop." she hugged the other three girls,"nite girls, see you tomorrow."

leighanne hugged them both and followed kristin out of the room.

amanda glanced at emma,"your telling him tonight?"

emma sighed,"when he gets back."

"okay, good luck," she said hugging her.

"thanks."

amanda nodded and left the room.

emma sighed and cleaned up the soda cans they had left behind. she went to move the stuff from the bed and ended up knocking a bunch of nicks things over. she picked up the video games, magazines, and reached to pick up his backpack when she saw an envelope with her handwriting on it.

she picked it up and read the address, she knew what it was. it was her letter to the donor family. thanking them for her new heart. it all hit emma at once. she stared at the letter and started to cry. now it was going to be 10 times harder to tell nick.