Epilogue/Prologue(note: this is also the prologue to the sequel "everytime i cloes my eyes" which i will start posting shortly)

nick nervously paced the waiting room wringing his hands.

brian glanced up at him,"nick, sit down, your making me dizzy."

nick shook his head,"i cant. not until i know their both alright."

aj and howie glanced at each other while kevin gently pulled nick into the chair next to him,"you pacing is not going to make that news come any faster frack. calm down."

nick stared down at his hands, tapping his feet on the floor.

amanda, leighanne, and faye rushed into the hospital.

"is she okay?!" amanda asked.

aj stood up and hugged her,"they took her in to have the baby but we havent heard any news yet."

leighanne glanced at nick,"you didnt go in with her...?"

brian slightly shook his head and leighanne sat back taking the hint not to say anything else.

nick stood back up,"its been almost 15 minutes. whats taking so damn long?!"

howie jumped slightly,"nick, your no--"

"theres the doctor," nick said rushing to meet the doctor as he walked into the room. "well..."

the doctor sighed,"well, the baby is fine. 10 fingers, 10 toes, full head of hair. perfect."

nick breathed a sigh of relief,"can i go see emma? is she okay now?"

the doctor glanced around the room and shook his head slightly.

"what does that mean?! dont shake your head at me! i want to see emma!"

the doctor sighed,"we did all we good mr. carter. she just wasnt stro--"

"no! i know emma better than that! you guys didnt try hard enough!" he said starting to cry as he continued to yell.

brian gently touched his shoulder,"nick, ca--"

"dont tell me to calm down!!" he said shaking brian off. "i want to see emma!"

the doctor gently grabbed nicks shoulders,"shes gone mr. carter. she lost too much blood and died just after the baby was born."

nick shook his head and started to shake,"no. no, there was a mistake. you guys are wrong. shes not dead."

the doctor nodded sadly,"im sorry mr. carter. we tried all we could."

nick shot up in bed and stared at the blank wall. he sat there silently for a minute before he realized that brians crying had woken him up.

he wiped his face on the bottom of his wifebeater, got out of bed, and went across the hall to the babys room. he leaned over the crib and gently lifted the baby boy out.

"hey there poohbear(that wasnt supposed to rhyme but oh well). whats wrong...you miss mommy?"

brians crying became softer as he listened to nick softly speaking to him.

he sat down in the rocking chair and gently started to rock back and forth, not realizing that he had started to cry,"you look so much like your mommy, poohbear. i wish she could see you right now."

taking note that his daddy was upset brians cries started up again.

nick kept rocking him trying to get him to stop but not stopping himself.

"nick?"

nick jumped slightly and glanced at the doorway,"hey. i thought you were asleep."

"i was but then i hea...nicky, your crying."

"i had that dream again..."

"oh im sorry. thats my fault...."

"no dont say that. its just, i guess once they pushed me out of that delivery room my mind just kept thinking up the worst and it stuck there."

emma sighed and went over to the two of them. she gently lifted brian from nicks arms and motioned for him to follow her. he got up, shut off the light and followed her back to the bedroom. emma gently laid down on the bed with brian in her arms and nick laid beside her facing her.

"do you have any idea how beautiful you look right now, just laying here, holding him like that?" nick asked gently brushing the hair from around her face.

she blushed slightly and gently wiped his eyes. brian glanced at the two of them sensing that it was alright for him to go back to sleep and started to drift off.

"em, can i ask you something?" nick asked resting his hand on her waist.

she nodded, careful not to move brian.

"will you marry me?"

she looked at him slightly surprised,"what?"

"i know its sudden, no its not..." he got up off the bed and went to the dresser. he dug around for a minute before coming back with a small black velvet box. he opened the box and there stood a gold band with a single diamond on it. "ive been thinking about this since we got back from the tour. it wasnt meant to be an engagement ring, just a promise ring for you. i was going to give it to you after i asked you out but then the accident...." he said starting to tear up again.

she gently wiped his eyes as her own started to fill with tears.

"anyways, this month of being a dad to brian and a boyfriend to you, i realized i didnt want this to be just a promise ring. i didnt just want to promise that we would be together forever but guarantee we would be together forever...."

"...nicky..."

he managed to crack a smile,"i know that was cheesy but i didnt know any other way to say it and you know im not all that great with words."

she managed to laugh,"but nicky--"

"so, i guess im trying to ask...emma, will you marry me? i mean, it wont always be great with the fans and dealing with press and photog--"

"yes."

"their always going to be hounding us wanting pictures of bri...wait...did you say yes...?"

she smiled and nodded.

"no joke?"

she rolled her eyes and shook her head,"no, no joke."

he smiled and gently slipped the ring on her finger then leaned forward and gently kissed her,"i love you."

brian, having fallen totally asleep yet, made a small gurgly sound and emma laughed.

"we love you too," she said returning the kiss.