Dear Princess,

i guess i really dont have any right calling you that anymore do i? i havent really had the right for three months now but old habits die hard. i saw you yesterday, i dont think you saw me though. it was at studio 54. aj dragged me along with him and amanda. you were with someone so i didnt dare go over and interrupt. i just sat at the table trying not to notice that you were there.

i keep writing these letters(this is the third) but knowing that im not going to send them. the guys keep asking who im writing to during rehearsals and i keep telling them "no one" but you know them, they never listen. truth is, im writing these to get my feelings out. i keep waiting for the moment when this huge weight is gonna be lifted off my shoulders and my heart but it hasnt happened yet.

aaron is still mad at me over this but i dont blame him. im the one who screwed up, surprise surprise. im the one who let you go. i never told you or showed you how much i loved you and it drove you away. you knew i cared for you but you never knew how much i love you.

you always had a way of making me smile or make my heart beat a little faster. even when you got mad at me i couldnt help but smile. you were so adorable when you got mad. your eyes would kind of start to get this extra spark and your cute little mouth would turn to a pout. my mom was always sying she could never tell the two of us no when we both turned on the pout.

you know what i miss the most? well, other than your kisses, the way you used to snuggle up to me or hold me. you fit perfectly against me. your waist was just tiny enough so that i could put my arm all the way around you and hold you. the way you would lace your fingers through mine, it was a perfect fit.

nick set his pen down and glanced at the clock. 2:35 am. he rubbed his eyes and sighed. he was supposed to be up at 6 for a photo shoot but everytime he looked at the bed he would feel his stomach tighten and all he could see was emma. it wasnt like sleep came all that easily to him anymore anyways.

he grabbed a blanket and pillow and headed downstairs to once again, camp out on the couch.

Part 2